First up is a bit of a real time journal entry of sorts. After that, I’m including a high energy set of statements and questions from the core of Alchemy of Chaos.
As I edit the Alchemy of Chaos book, I am revisiting a concept that I have loved for a while now, and that is that ideas have their own consciousness. I have felt this so many times over the last decade while working on a project, or while journaling from outside the logical mind, or while watching how an idea moves through groups of people until it lands in the ideal place for it to be made manifest in our world. Through this lens, I have always felt and believed that Alchemy of Chaos is a fully formed set of ideas that came from beyond me, not from me. For me, it has been much easier to think about it this way. Takes the pressure off. I think of Alchemy of Chaos, or AoC, as the CEO of this enterprise, and I am the COO being delegated to by the true visionary. So when I do or say something, or put something out there, it’s not me or mine, it’s simply me doing the bidding of this conscious entity. I know that might sound a bit weird, but it is this personal belief system that has allowed me to get this far. I would have shut myself down a long time ago if I had believed that AoC was mine, and that it came from my own brain. I would have judged it and “perfected” it into unusable mush. Instead, I’ve been able to cultivate a playful relationship with it in my mind, which has allowed me the freedom to trial and error, to mess up, to delay, to stumble, to drop in with a 20% formed plan trusting that the rest would come through as the CEO decides to allow it.
So today I want to share with you a spicy message from AoC. I slammed this out on an airplane once in like 15 minutes. Upon re-reading it I remember thinking “where did that come from?!” It’s so interesting because the tone of it feels different to my normal writing. Just for fun - or maybe for real - I have allowed writings like this to serve as proof points that this whole thing really is just coming through me. I’m the humble servant, devoted to the cause, challenging myself to keep saying yes to whatever this is.
A note on current events: I remain devastated as I watch world events continue to unfold. Not only in the Middle East, but so many other places as well. At home and abroad. I wonder what it will take to know peace. I wonder who we must become to transcend this current paradigm of increasing levels of polarity, divisive language, alienating belief systems, and violence. I wonder what must die, and what must struggle. I wonder what must be born, and what must thrive. I wonder what the balance is between consuming news to stay plugged into the realities of what’s happening and do my part to shift it, and the purposefully insulated-from-news bubble required to continue functioning. I wonder if Alchemy of Chaos is at all helpful for those who are subject to very real evil. I find myself creating caveats in the final draft, naming that the tenants that I’m writing about do not apply to events so horrific that they 100x our worst case scenarios. This way of thinking does not apply to war zones, genocide, terrorism, and the like. Because how could I tell a parent of a murdered child that they just need to embrace that chaos and turn it into an opportunity? They would tell me to fuck all the way off, without hesitation. As they should. Because offering a “perspective shift” at a time like that is a radically toxic version of bypassing the unbelievable suffering that so many people are caught within.
It’s a challenge right now, as I near the finish line of this book, to figure out how to hold all of this, or if it’s even possible to. And if it’s not, (and I am almost positive it is not) what words do I offer so that this curriculum is not misunderstood by those it’s not meant for? One of my fears in releasing a book like this is that it would somehow inadvertently hurt or harm someone else. That it would somehow infuriate or invalidate. My intention in writing about this is to offer a liberating set of awarenesses and perspective shifts so that the roller coaster of life can be fielded in a way that serves both the collective and the individual. However, I know that these perspective shifts could never meet everyone in their current experience of chaos. There is the chaos of the unknown, and then there is the chaos of heinous destruction of life. They are not the same, and they cannot be approached with the same set of tools. I am grappling with this every day in different ways, especially given the backdrop of everything happening right now.
Anyway. That’s what’s on my mind.
Here is the excerpt I referenced above that I found in the notes section of the book draft. It’s spicy! It feels like I’m being bossed around by Alchemy of Chaos. I like it. I’m kinda beta testing this vibe with you so please reply and let me know your thoughts/reactions/feelings if you have them!
It’s time.
It’s time to stop fucking around, and remember who you are. You are distracting yourself, and you know it. And if that triggers you, good.
Alchemy of Chaos is here to offer a new way of being, an elevated experience of the world. Humans for too many centuries have been running in the opposite direction of chaos, without realizing that is what is creating the disorder. The chaos is the initiation, and so many have refused to be initiated. They run, thinking they are making their lives better, and what they end up with is confusion and disconnection. They are disconnected from themselves, because they are rejecting the building blocks of life itself, the building blocks of their very bodies, the building blocks of the universe: quantum movement in chaos.
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